break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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