Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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