i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
