"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize