Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
