Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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