bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
as a side note pls kill me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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