I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
