Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
