I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
