When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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