i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
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Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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