things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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