I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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