just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
