i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sorry about my life...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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