This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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