so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
