On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
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90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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