weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize