Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
