I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
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Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
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Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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