I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We were destined to go to rehab together
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
