My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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