I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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