I hate all girls vehemently.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
