i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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