You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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