She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
