I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
