she looked like the bat from fern gully.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
