Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  mustard is like jesus in yellow tights

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  (419): mustard is like jesus in yellow tights http://tfl.nu/uvec
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so

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  (845): I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so http://tfl.nu/bpeg
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.

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  (843): just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style. http://tfl.nu/ygfi
  Replies (8) Good night (1199) Bad night (2935)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet

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  (610): There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet http://tfl.nu/0mzt
  Replies (24) Good night (1647) Bad night (2016) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.

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  (904): i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina. http://tfl.nu/j0mi
  Replies (13) Good night (6060) Bad night (763)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta

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  (513): Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta http://tfl.nu/m4p5
  Replies (37) Good night (3748) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.

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  (978): Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over. http://tfl.nu/42jf
  Replies (22) Good night (1177) Bad night (4208) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.

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  (336): You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed. http://tfl.nu/cedv
  Replies (101) Good night (9661) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner

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  (413): also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner http://tfl.nu/h4oj
  Replies (4) Good night (2122) Bad night (960) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.

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  (206): Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit. http://tfl.nu/8fs8
  Replies (9) Good night (3976) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.

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  (480): I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/5zqd
  Replies (16) Good night (596) Bad night (2954) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing

  (408): View more from California

  it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"

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  (831): sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing (408): it's like you just said "i want you to suffer" http://tfl.nu/wbp5
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (200)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time

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  (860): It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time http://tfl.nu/gqs4
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.

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  (314): He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it. http://tfl.nu/p1fo
  Replies (6) Good night (681) Bad night (190)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.

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  (360): I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been. http://tfl.nu/46nz
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt

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