If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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