yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize