They should really pass out barf bags in church
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
