You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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