Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
