Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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