It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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