I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
