when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
