remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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