idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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