"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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