I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
