dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
