i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
