you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
