Whod you bang
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
