In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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