So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
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Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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