Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
