it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
