NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize