You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
