He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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