The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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